My Dairy

2006-01-28T16:23:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all my friends!!! So fast another year has past...hai..feeling old already..haha...
Anyway popping in to let my friends know what I have been up to, since a lot of you are wondering what I have been doing lately...
Well I was very busy for the last month or so, busy helping my mom and also job hunting...
Been to a few interviews already, but so far none has turned up to be what I wanted..I don't know if it is my luck or what..I realised I have been drawn to a lot of wrong opportunities lately, as well as a lot of wrong people...It is kind of frustrating actually, and I admit that I wasn't in my best of mood these days. Maybe for the 1st time in my life, I seems to know what/who i really wanted, that is why the rest of the others turns out to be wrong..Honestly I don't know whether this is a good thing or not..because it sure led to a lot of disappointments..
Another thing I wanted to voice out here.. I am very sick of other people pinning their demands on me...I dunno is it because I did not make my feelings known clear enough, or just that they are purely insensitive. I thought I would try not to leave behind any hard feelings, but I guess sometimes one really got to be harsh to eliminate any further misunderstandings. I know this sounds selfish, but just because you needed me, it doesn't mean that I have to be there all the time. I have my own life too...I mean, if everyone does that then what is left of my life is just nothing but realising these endless expectations of others..which to me sounds really pathetic and sad..
Ok I know some of you might not understand what I am saying, but that's because I am not talking about you here (glad?)haha..nonetheless just let me rant lor..
Oh yea wanted to put this down but always forgot. ZT, I just want to let you know that I really appreciate all your help for staying up till wee hours of the night writing me a referee letter. It was very last min but u still manage to done up such a good report for me. Really can't thank you enough..You have given me so much guidance in my career search, and always there for me when I needed you..I hope our friendship will not change even though we are at different places now...anyway keep in touch and all the best for your career:)

Finally, I hope the "doggie" year will be a good and happy year for all my friends!!!!

Back for gd

2005-11-20T01:43:00.000+08:00

Don't know why tonight suddenly thought of writing in this blog again....A lot of things happened lately, n i din have much time to do other things...let alone remembering that I have a blog.

For once, this weekend I didn't do much...guess I really needed the solitude and personal space to do some thinking. I wanted to think about where I want to go next...had a long talk with my parents just now...and I can say that I really learn to appreciate them much more now...they have helped me a lot, providing the support I need...I simply can't thank them enough.

Went to a funeral just now, went there to support a friend whose grandma just passed away. I guess somehow I can relate to her feelings, because me too have a grandma who stayed with me since I was born. What happened to my friend actually makes me treasure my grandma even more. Lately I have been contemplating the idea of bringing my grandma back to HK. She is pretty old now, and I am sure she missed the place so much. I didn't even know if her friends are still ard now, but I guess she will probably be less lonely there. However, that would mean that we may have to move back to HK together...I'm actually quite ok with the idea...just didn't know what my parents will think of it.

Growing up is really a stressful experience, no wonder ppl always say that students are always the most carefree and fortunate lot. Now I understand how true this is. Before graduation, all I have to worry abt is to study so as to make it through exams, and then what to do during vacations...but now...I have to worry abt money, worry abt career, worry abt family....

So for those of u out there still studying...plz treasure the time that u have now..for it'll probably be the best time of ur life!!!

My Dream!!!

2005-08-01T17:48:00.000+08:00

ok ppl..i'm back..
haven been blogging for soooo long..reason being that I feel there's nothin much happening in my life now that's worth noting...
Had been job searching for almost a mth plus now..still haven found one...felt a little dishearted actually...have been complaining to some of my frens abt this, and all of them advise me to be more patient..well..I guess I am left with not much of a choice except to do wat they say n be PATIENT!!! I didn't want to just hop into any job that come by..I wanted my 1st job to be somethin that I like, somethin that gives me inspiration and helps me grow...To me, making the rt choice into entering a suitable job is the most impt factor, becoz it'll help to shape my entire career path in the future...So well, fussy i may be..but I do stand by my reasons..
The reason that i'm back to blogging is becoz I wanted to share somethin wonderful with all my frens...
Finally today I got a taste of wat it is to be a broadcaster!!!!haha..even if it is only a day..i treasure this experience so much..
For those of you who dun know me well enough may not know that it has always been my dream to be a broadcaster...I applied to the mediacorp news for so many times that I'm sure they get frustrated with me..but well, at last i got myself an audition today, and that's when I really got to know a bit more abt what it is really like to be a broadcaster...
As i was in the CNA studio doing my recording in front of the cameras and giant tvs..i really feel as if I am a broadcaster...haha...it is a really fun experience..but wasn't happy with my performance there though...i think i spoke too fast, and some of the words I mispronuonced...hai...but nvm...it is still a dream come true for me..even if it is only for a day...
And to all the frens out there who flooded my hp today with all the supporting msg..I juz wanna say thank you to all of u...hee...it doesn't matter if i get the job in the end or not...at least I had a gd experience and it made me realize how much ppl ard me cares for me...
thanks again all my dear frens:)

A new phase in life...

2005-05-05T20:30:00.000+08:00

Finally after weeks of mugging, exams are finally over!!! This is perhaps my last exam in my entire life..sounds scary huh?
Wanted to start sending some resumes but really not in the mood..now I juz want to enjoy a nice break and have fun..maybe after I come back fr HK then start my job hunting ba..
Tml starting my part time job at taka selling polariod camera..then next week will be goin expo to do invigilation for SIM exams..most prob will get to see my SIM frens there..haha..it juz feels weird to invigilate my fren's exams...So guess next week will be quick packed..hopefully i still got some time left to meet up with my frens before goin back to hk...hee...
So frens if wan to meet me better book fast ya????hahahaha...

I miss my textbk

2005-04-10T02:30:00.000+08:00

I can't believe that I actually lost my marketing text in sch yest..exam is round the corner and I've got nothin to refer to..All my notes are made in the book..which means that I'll have to spent close to 40 bucks to buy a new one and read thro it ALL OVER AGAIN!!! It's only abt 2 weeks to exam, and that is an open book exam...Oh man, I can't believe my luck!!!
It's been another busy and stressful week for me..I had so much to do with so little time..this sem was really bad for me. I had no time to catchup with my readings and tutorials becoz everyday I had to attend lesson after lesson..
I haven been so grumpy for a long time..And I'm not exactly feelin the best...
So..argh...hopefully all these will be over soon!!!!

I'm back!!!!

2005-04-03T16:23:00.000+08:00

Hi ppl..sorry MIA for so long...even SW has to complain in my friendster testimonial..hee...
So erm..let's update again on what i've been up to recently..
I went for the audition for Channel News Asia..but din got in because I was so nervous with all the tv crews and the "big giant" camera in front of me..I went on mumbling for 1 min without knowing what I was talking abt...n guess who i saw that day??? Benedict Goh was in the queue in front of me..he went for the audition too...I wonder if he got in...anyway he's not that cute afterall, he looked soooo different fr how he looked on camera..to think that I actually thought he was cute when watching Growing Up...
School was really busy nowadays..I had 2 papers, 1 project and 1 presentation due next week...oh man...I sat in front of my pc for more than 12 hrs these 2 days..hopefully all these will end soon..I haven even had time to start revising for exams..and it's juz abt 2 weeks away..how scary..
But really looking forward to goin back to HK after my exams..I already told my dad that I wanted to buy a 1-way ticket..so I can stay as long as I want!!!! And I really missed Bona..muz catch up with her when I get back..too bad Fion is in Aust..if not the 3 of us can hang out..it's goin to be so fun...
Ok so that's abt it..plz dun complain if I MIA again..haha..it juz shows that I'm doin some serious studying..=P

busy week!!!!

2005-03-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

Let me update what i've been up to recently:

I worked as helpers at the NUS open hse last sat..It was super crowded but fun..n to my surprise I saw my cousin there, n talked to him for awhile..
Mon I went for an interview at Phillips capital..it wasn't much of a formal interview..juz go there n take an aptitude test and play a "cash flow" game...i personally enjoyed the game..haha...din know interview can be so fun...but they say after our exams will call us back for a second interview, and this time will be a formal one..so maybe can't go back to HK immed after my exams...Actually I din intend to work there unless they have a position ava in the PR dept, but I won't put my hopes high, coz I think they r mainly hiring investment planner or somethin along that line...
I've been helping the red cross in their fund raising activity by selling ice cream in sch!!!!haha...I volunteered coz I wan to have more things to put in to my resume..n it turns out to be quite fun too...The person in charge actually asked me to help out tml n fri at sci also...although I really wan to go but can't la...it's too tiring for me...I've got so much to do with so little time...so can only hope that they'll raise enough funds for their vietnam trip..friends if u guys walk pass the booth plz kindly buy k???hehe...
woo the list like non-exhausable..anyway lastly i also applied for internships at Grand Hyatt hotel, and the Information Communication Federation...currently still waiting for their reply..hopefully can get in..but that will mean more interviews to go!!!!

Ok..so that's abt it..I can't believe I did so much in juz one week...haha...I feel like I've already graduated..haven touch my readings AT ALL....no time to study these days..hai...think i better set my focus right..

Anyway next week I still have one more interview to go..n I'm still debating if I should try out the audition at Channel News Asia...Will update again..:-)

Career Fair

2005-03-06T00:30:00.000+08:00

I had a great week...although still busy as usual...
went for the career fair on thurs..it was very crowded and din have much job offerings that I'm interested in. But nonetheless it gave me some ideas on the kind of jobs that I can venture in, and also managed to talk to some ppl who shared their working experiences with me...Now I know that I actually wan to work as a PR and not HR; and raffles hotel is the worst place u can work in!!!haha...
Had a nice dinner with my mom juz now...at last we get to spend some time together...I think sometimes I see my friends more than I see her...hehe...
I actually feel more control in my life rt now..at least I have a rough idea abt what I want to be and where I want to go..and it juz feels gd to know that I'm putting in effort to work towards it...

term break!!!

2005-02-27T13:05:00.000+08:00

I can't believe term break is already over, I hardly noticed it approaching in the 1st place..maybe that's becoz I went to sch almost everyday, and every corner of the sch is packed with people...it doesn't feel like it's a holiday at all!!!!
But can't complian much la..despite the busy schedule I still managed to meet up with most of my frens..sometimes I find it quite hard to balance my social life with sch's..but I'm not willing to give up on either side, since both r juz as impt to me...
After mid term is when all the proj and exams starting comin...but I guess I juz have to try my best la..last sem already..I find it hard to accept the fact that in abt 2 mths time i'm goin to leave the sch...i kinda grow to like my sch recently..i also dunno y...and i regretted so much for not participating more actively in sch's activities...there're so much goin on in sch everyday..yet I juz turn a blind eye to them and live in a world of my own..
how I wish i can turn back time..

new specs!!!

2005-02-20T22:23:00.000+08:00

Juz got a new pair of specs..finally can say gd bye to my dunno-how-many yr old specs i've been wearing all along...although i look really terrible with specs lor...haha...
Had a gd chat with XL juz now...felt guilty coz i haven met up with her for quite a while already, really missed all the chit chatting n gossiping...hee...she's my best fren since pri sch, i'm so glad i've known her...we've been through so much together, and she really knows me well. I feel that i can talk to her abt anything...I hope our friendship will last forever...
Have been reading this book by this man called Dave Pelzer, it's a motivational book which i find is quite good. He was actually once a victim of child abuse, and in his book he talks abt how he survived through all that bad experiences and emerged as a stronger person. I was juz half way through the book, but i feel that there's something abt him that we could all learn. After all, no one is perfect. Some pt in life we'll make mistake or get hurt, but most impt is how we chose to handle the situation..
Hopefully can stay at home n finish the book by tml...hee...then should really start on my proj n assignments, and this break is a gd time for me to catch up with some readings too...
time to be the nerdy me again!!!

Time management..

2005-02-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

I think i finally know what 'dead tired' feels like..it's exactly wat i'm feelin right now..too tired to move,too tied to think,too tired to bother about anything else..
I had a very very busy week..my week kick off to a gd start with a very gd valentine's day, met up with lots of my frens..this is the 1st yr I've got no official v day date...yet surprisingly it turns out to be the most enjoyable one...haha...i guess at least I dun have to spent the entire time thinking how much more fun I'll have if my date is someone I like..hee...
Guess there's a price to pay for everything though..on tues afternoon I realised I had a mid-term test on fri..n I haven start preparing for it yet...so the next few days was hell-I tried to catch up with all the readings I missed (which is not really poss with so little time), I din sleep well every night and I had cramps almost everyday..
Today woke up at 6am to go for the test...I think I really look like a panda now with all the lack of sleep..then after the test went for interview, the career fair, then shopping and had a hair cut in town..so here I am, dead beat..sitting in front of the pc not wanting to do anything else...luckily next week is term break..I'll try not to care abt all the projects and assignments that's due immed after the sch reopen, and take this opportunity to have a gd rest..
I really wished I had more time..I wanted so much to meet up with many of my frens (which I had promised to but never got ard doin it), also hang out with my bro, spent more time with my parents, and keep some time for myself..

CNY!!!

2005-02-10T13:45:00.000+08:00

A very happy new yr to all my frens out there!!! Hee..may everyone had a gd yr ahead!!!
I had a very busy chi new yr, n that's not becoz i had to go pay visits...but becoz i went out with frens most of the time...haha...
On new yr's eve i went to watch Constantine...i din even know wat the movie was abt before i went into the theatre...turns out it's kind of scary, so is actually not really appropriate to watch on new yr..haha...but who cares man...
Then i went to ktv last night and sang till 5am!!!! Actually it wasn't really fun, coz most of the ppl there i dun really know...n they smoke the whole night,the whole room was choked woth cigeratte smoke...i think if i continue to hang out with them on such a regular basis,my life will be shortened drastically...
Now i'm super sleepy, and my mom woke me up early in the morning!!! I had less than 5 hrs last night,now super deprived of sleep, yet i can't go back to sleep coz her fren is comin to visit us...urgh...so now i might be typing rubbish without realising coz i'm practically 'brain dead'....
n tml i still have a 8am lesson!!!!! I want my sleep!!!!!!

Fair??

2005-01-28T11:26:00.000+08:00

Dunno y, this morn when i woke up i felt very moody...it seems like a lot of sad things happen to the ppl ard me lately..One of my gd friend's grandma juz passed away, while her sis is diagnosed with cancer..I dunno wat i can do to make her feel better...I juz wonder how many sad news a person can take...
Then i met this guy yest- he is the most handsome, charming and successful guy i've ever met. He has got it all: the looks, money n career. Yet, when my fren told me abt his past, i can't help but feel really sorry for him. Although his fiance has died for almost 2 yrs now, i can still sense his sadness. Everytime the bar played a love song he'll go to the washroom, sometimes during conversation he will suddenly went quiet...I can't help but wonder: is it really true that you'll have to lose SOMETHING to have every other thing?? Money n career in exchange for a loved one...if given a choice, i'm sure he'll give up everything juz to have her back...hai...it looks as if it's something that's taken off the tv drama..

Anyhow, i juz hope that my friends will cheer up, get back on their feet n move on...

Sad week

2005-01-21T13:45:00.000+08:00

I had quite a bad week...was not feelin very gd these couple of days...sometimes I feel that I cared too much abt others that it came to a pt whereby other ppl's problems began to affect me too...I dunno how I got myself into all these, but I juz wish that I can shut up n ignore everything that's happening...I juz wanted to go back to the days whereby I know nothing and care abt nothin...

Whatever it is, I juz hope that my friends will cheer up...

Anyway tutorial is starting next week, suddenly I realized that I had things to do n readings to read...life is goin to get busy again..n what have i been doing lately? going out n slacking ard...hai...last sem already, can't afford to fool ard anymore..n that means no more shopping, no more ktv, n no more sleeping till NOON!!!!

1st week of sch

2005-01-13T20:04:00.000+08:00

Sch has already started for almost a week, after attending some lectures n gave some "serious" thoughts, I've made some changes to the modules that i'm goin to take this sem..At 1st i thought by changing some modules will help to make my sch days shorter, but instead it actually made my sch days LONGER!!!! urgh...but then i really like that professional comm mod, think it'll be quite interesting n useful..so no choice la, even this may mean that i'll have to spent more time rotting in sch!!!

Also signed up for the resume writing n networking workshops today at the career centre, will go back tml to sign up for that interview training workshop...it's really time to get to know abt these stuff man...it's so depressing...they constantly reminds me of how soon before i'll have to leave the sch n venture out into the "cruel" world on my own..

So guess this sem will be a very busy one for me, i think i'll spent more time in sch than home since my sch days r sooooooo super long:(

Let Go

2005-01-10T16:35:00.000+08:00

I dunno why isit that every once in awhile I'll heard of him again...I always thought i've already gotten over him completely, but how come everytime i heard the mention of his name i'll get so uptight???

Found out that he is attached now, also got a bit of information about what he has been doin recently...i really dunno y i still care..it's been soooooo super long ago.

I dunno who his gf is, but i'm sure she is a very lucky gal. All this while I haven even thought of going to look for him again, i know it wouldn't change the situation at all. I'm so angry with myself; I am this close to convincing myself that he doesn't matter to me anymore..Y do news of him ALWAYS have to come at these crucial moments?????

I dun really feel upset becoz he is now attached, it won't made much difference anyway..I guess i am juz tired...maybe all this while i'm trying to get back the kind of feeling I once had, but I know it's not possible...who am i kidding??? Even if i get to see him now, I guess the feelings will be very different..Maybe it's really time that I let go of the past that has hang on to me for far too long..

Ok back to some 'serious' stuff..haha
Juz send my application for the China synergy trip..seriously i dun think i'll be selected..but no harm trying rite?? I think it'll be a very gd opportunity for me to broaden my horizon. Ever since Bona's visit, I realized how ignorant I have been. There are so many places to be seen and so much to do, n all i've been doin is "foolin ard" after sch..I feel that I need somethin to enrich my life experiences...So hopefully they will select me la...hee..keeping my fingers crossed..
Tml is the 1st day of sch. I wan to complain!!!! My this sem's timetable sux!!!! Super long day for Tues n Wed...then Fri only one 8am lec...How am i suppose to convince myself not to skip that????

HK fren

2005-01-06T01:55:00.000+08:00

after so many days of INTENSE touring ard s'pore with my fren, i felt so drain n tired...i desperately needed a gd rest...haha...but nonetheless i really enjoyed her company, and felt a bit sad that she's leaving tml...hee...looking forward to go n visit her in HK after i grad..
juz received a piece of very sad news today, my fren who had been with her bf for almost 5 yrs juz broke off..i'm really worried abt her, i know she try to console those who care sabt her by letting us believe that she is fine, but she's a human being after all..i rem once she told me that she had been with her bf for so long that she wouldn't know what to do if he's no longer there for her..i juz wish that she can be strong, knowing that i would be there to support her whenever she needs me..Her relationship had once influ my views on relationship matters..at that time i wanted to be like her, i tell myself that fr now on the 1st guy whom i'm involved with will be my husband...wat happened to her made me believe that it's not some kind of fantasy, it does happen in real life...but i guess i was wrong? real life always does not have a happy ending? Maybe i should juz go back to my belief b4 i met her....

a brand new beginning

2005-01-01T14:08:00.000+08:00

Happy New Yr to all my dear friends!!!! 2004 had been a rather ok yr for me, nothin much happened and i'm happy most of the time, hopefully 2005 will be better!!!!
This new yr is very special to me becoz one of my kindergarden friend fr HK actually came to visit me, we spent the new yr together.. n it's juz GREAT!!!!! I haven seen for for at least 4 yrs i think? It's gd as it brings back some of the happy memories fr our childhood. Hehe...
So what happen yest was that i went to airport to pick her up, she was suppose to reach by 4 but the flight delayed becoz a baby on board was sick. so I waited at the arrival hall for one n a half hr, but the wait was still worth it la...haha...so long as she reached here safely. Then i bring her home to put down her stuff, rest a while then went to meet Alan. It seems like the 2 of them can really click, at 1st i was worried that they might felt awkard with each other since they had juz met, but it turns out that they have a lot in common...hehe...i really enjoyed their company. We went to Lau Pa Sat for dinner, then proceed to esplande for countdown. Afterthat we went to orchard, and were being "attacked" by all the ppl holding foam sprays...hate that part man, make my hair so greasy..so we decided to seek refuge by goin ktv, haha...which was super fun!!!! I sing until so high that i sounded as if i was drunk...haha....then i started calling and disturbing almost everyone i know who's still awake on my phonelist...hee...
we stayed ard n talk till morning then go home...my fren is still sleeping now...hehe...think she's very tired, but glad that she too have enjoyed herself..still thinking where to bring her later when she wakes up, sg is such a boring place:(

to end my entry today, i shall state down some of my new yr's resolutions..
1) Stay happy and positive at ALL times!!!
2) Study hard and get a job that i like
3) Shall open my eyes bigger in case my Prince Charming comes along (hehe)
4) Treasure my family n frens more
5) have confidence in myself in whatever i do, believe in myself.

feelings...

2004-12-26T23:33:00.000+08:00

has been super busy these few days...i actually worked on xmas eve till 5 pm!!!! crazy lo...n my colleage still ask me if i can stay till later...thanks man...since the day i've been working i haven got any life lo...then xmas eve suppose to be half day still ask me to stay...as if everyone is workaholic like them....
But after work i went out to catch a movie...it was quite ok la...although i was very tired, still had quite a gd time....I spent my xmas eve n xmas with some frens whom i never thought i would spent with...haha...but all in all...i enjoyed it...
maybe i was afraid to admit all along, or was that juz happened? I beginning to feel somethin again...i'm really scared that history is goin to repeat itself once more...although it's been more than a yr...but seriously i wouldn't wan to put myself through that again..it hurts...i can still remember vividly....hai...
tues last day of work..can't wait to get out of there....sucks...
new yr comin...better start thinking abt my new yr resolution:)

Happiness

2004-12-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

Spent the whole afternoon singing at k box with my bro n my future sis-in-law. I wouldn't say it was especially fun, but nonetheless i get to spent more time with my bro's gf n got to know her better. She's really nice, n i started to feel that she is like the elder sis i had longed for but never had:)

Suddenly i felt very happy, i dunno why...haha...it's weird, but i juz felt so relax and light, yet i can't pin pt the reason behind this feeling...maybe is becoz i can see that my bro is happy, n their happiness has begin to influ me...hehe...whatever the reason i juz hope that this feeling will stay with me as i haven been really feelin gd the past week or so..

Countdown-one more day to boring working life!!!!urgh...got to really treasure my time...

There are so many frens that i wanted to meet during this holiday, but juz haven got the chance. Hopefully i'll get to meet them all before sch starts..Hang in there my friends!!!:)

Hangover!!!

2004-12-09T14:20:00.000+08:00

Feelin terrible now, i dunno is it becoz i drink yest or i selpt too late, i'm having a very bad headache now...urgh...I dunno how on earth i can go out later man...
Went to Zouk last night to celebrate QingYang's bd. At 1st when i reach there n realise i'm the ONLY gal there, i was a bit unhappy...I thought oh man, this is goin to be another boring night. But later when we went to the dance floor and dance, I started to have fun. Luckily later sw ask his sch mate to come, so at least there's another gal to accompany me...haha...QingYang was a bit drunk when he came over to join us...i was laughing like crazy when they force him to took off his shirt!!!!hahaha..then sw go n take his pic somemore....All in all, i had enjoyed the night...but i guess it has a price to pay coz i'm feelin terrible now. hopefully later the headache will go off...
Juz found a job, starting work next week..hai...when i can't find a job i complain i'm broke, but now have job i dreaded to go for it...but no choice lor, i already agreed to take up the job..guess another 2 weeks of my holiday is gone:(

Trouble...

2004-12-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

I'm still pretty bothered by what Damien said the other day, but he refused to elaborate further until we meet up. Seriously I don't agree with what he said, and I won't want to believe it's true. But what if, what if the things he said is true? What kind of a mess have I got myself into????
Had a gd talk with Talen yest night, although he didn't manage to help me solve my pro, it's always gd to have a friend who'll listen and share my pro without having to worry abt being judged.
Went to fang's bbq yest, although din get to talk to her much n din GET TO EAT MUCH (hint hint), haha...I still get to enjoy myself lor. It's gd to meet up with my JC classmates once in a while, n what's more get to make fun of sandor..haha...actually he's quite nice lor, get 'bullied' by us yet still drive us ard..hee...think next time he muz think twice b4 turning up for our gatherings..
I juz hope i can enjoy my last holiday as a student:)

2004-12-05T11:41:00.000+08:00

I dunno if i've really done somethin wrong. How should i account for an unintentional gesture that was being mis-interpreted??? Believe it or not, I'm not those kind of person who'll wan to hurt others intentionally, but somehow it seems like I'm really gd at it. I think abt the past of those ppl whom i might hurt unintentionally, n seriously, i still feel bad. Yes, even now after so long. I admit sometimes I might be a little self-centred, often I do things without sparing a thought for others. But I'm really making an effort to change, I dunno y I'm still back to sqaure one again. Perhaps I always assume others to know who i really am, but apparently they don't. I won't blame them seriously, it's my fault if I still have not made myself known. Sometimes I know ppl might think that i'm rather selfish, but I do care about others abt me a lot u know? Maybe is the way i handle things ba. hai...feelin terrible now...

2004-12-03T09:17:00.000+08:00

Yeah!!! Exam is over!!! After almost one month of studying...finally got back my freedom...I don't think I will do well this sem though, all the papers are not very gd...but who cares, it's holiday now!!!! Yeah!!!Hehe...sorry ah...got a little carried away.
Yest immed after exam, I went to NUH to visit my future sis-in-law. First time meeting her, can't say I wasn't a little nervous, but she seems very nice (just like what I expected). Although we didn't talk much yest, but I really like her. hehe...What's most important is that my bro loves her. If he loves her, I'll too (not in the same way lor)..hahahaha...Time really flies man, it seems like just yest that my bro n I r fighting over toys, but now he's going to get married and have a family on his own. I'm so happy for him..I love him more than I can ever say, and I hope he can truly be happy with her.
Think it could be exam stress or some facial product that i used, my forehead got those little red bumps...urgh!!!! ugly...so i went for a facial yest. It's killing me man, it is so painful!!! can't imagine I've to went through all that pain just because of a few bumps on my forehead. Now i have to stay at home for at lest 2 days to wait for the red mark to subside. If not could've met SW today...hai...friends, plz don't tempt me by asking me out these 2 days k? If u want a gd scare then try coming to visit me lor!!! hahaha...
but at least now have quite a no. of vcds to watch..so i guess i'll be very well entertained these 2 days:)

My 22nd Birthday!!!

2004-11-03T21:49:00.000+08:00

I spent almost 5 days celebrating my bd...that's greedy i know..haha...but I really had a gd time..hee...received quite a no. of presents, and I love all all them...of course, the impt thing is not just about presents, but also the fact that my friends take time off to celebrate my birthday with me :)
Before meeting HF they all for dinner on mon, I had a very long talk with ZT. We talked about lots of stuff. .particularly about my future and what i'm going to do after I grad.. seems like he is the only one who encouraged me to go back to HK, he said that at least I had an advantage over there as I can speak Eng n Chi. That does make sense...with just an arts degree what can i do here anyway??? Anyway it was a good talk as it got me thinking really hard about what I want. Afterall, I had only 1 sem left.
That night also bum into Peili...din know that she went to the same restaurant with us until she called me...hee...i always dun open my eyes big enough!!!
Yest met up with Talen for lunch at Holland V.. I thought it was just an ordinary lunch, so I was very surprised when he bring me to swensen and gave me a treat...heehee...i felt bad coz I never really celebrate his bd with him...don't worry though, will make it up to him next yr since he's sooooo nice, pick me up in sch n drives me back in time for my ICM test...hee..
So it was really a great bd for me!!! It's really times like this that I feel so blessed to know that I have all my friends ard me who really cares...Of coz i don't mean that they only care abt me on my bd...but it sets to remind me that I had so many ppl ard me n I should treasure them...
Super tired now...met sw n hf for dinner juz now...still have tutorial to do...guess my 'holiday' ends here...haha....hope exam will be over soon!!!!!

2046!!!

2004-10-17T01:45:00.000+08:00

I almost forgot i've a blog!!!haha...have been soooooo busy lately...better start writing somethin or my frens r goin to complain again...
Had a very busy week, my 3-days school week has turned into a 5-day week for the past month!!argh...no more 3-days week for me man (but then again i've only 1 sem left). Thanks to the MNO video editing, I have spent 3 days this week at the media lab...finally it's done on fri. Looking forward to present it this tues, i think we did a fantastic job...i really like it a lot..hopefully our tutor feels the same way???
Today is my only break after the long week. Went out with an old fren of mine for dinner n watched 2046 after that. I know i probably won't be able to understand it, but i still went ahead to watch it anyway. It's bad enough that the movie is so confusing, n it's sat night the theatre is so packed that by the time we bought tickets we only manage to get the seats 2 rows from the front!!!!have to strain my neck throughout the movie!!!!
But the movie is quite ok, the cast is gd...n Zhang Zhiyi looked so pretty in the movie. The sequence of the movie is a mess...so i was super confused after watching. But after ZT's explaination i begin to understand lor...so i still knows how to appreciate art k!!!!
Sometimes it's really gd to meet up with old frens, I haven seen ZT for like, a yr??haha...luckily last week bum into him in sch, if not i think i'll forget that i've this fren (that's mean i know!!!)..haha...had a tiring but gd day...think i better start digging out my phone bk n do some catching up with other 'long lost contact fren' that i've but forgotten...haha..

Tiring!!!

2004-09-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

Lately it seems like i'm so busy till i can't even stop for a while to think...Tml is already the last day of the term break, and i haven done the things that i wanted to do...initially i wanted to make use of this break to read up on my MNO text, but till now nothin is done...hai...

Yest spent the entire day filming the MNO video. Can't believe that we spent 8 hrs to film an 8 min video!!!!we wanted to do some outdoor scenes but it couldn't stop raining...Nonetheless, i had fun filming...haha..laugh so much the entire day that i felt breathless..heehee...esp some of the NG shots..maybe should keep it at the end of the video so as to have a gd laugh..

Today went to sch for discussion, but in the end woke up late and was late for the project gp meeting...we spent like 3 hrs brainstorming ideas but nothin much was done. This JS proj is so difficult!!!we spent weeks trying to settle on a topic, but till now the focus is still not clear..I can still rememeber i had a hard time doin a JS mod the previous sem too, and i've gotten a D+ for that project...my wrost grade ever!!!!hopefully this time history won't repeat itself..Seriously i can't afford to get another D+ coz i onli have 1 more sem to go b4 graduation..

Hopefully i can get some stuff done tml...

Term Break Is Comin!!!

2004-09-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

I'm so glad that i can finally take a break fr all the stressful projects n test..Although this sem is quite dumb (only4 days break), i still appreciate the time away from sch. N I have decided that next fri will be a self-declared holiday...hehe...

Juz got back the ICM quiz result yest, i was pretty surprise that i still manage to do quite ok for it..considering the time i've put in to study for this test, i would definately say that i'm lucky. Think it's time for me to start catching up with the readings fr now on.

Have got a few fren's bd comin up, quite troubled over what to get for them. I realise every yr's April, May, Oct n Nov is kind of the 'peak period' of birthdays....n these r usually the stressful times for me...hee...but well, for fren's sake...can't complain lor...

Pretty excited to film the MNO project video, after endless discussions and debate, we've finally come up with a very interesting script...can't wait to c all my project gp mates' acting...hehe..

New Look!!!!

2004-09-12T01:44:00.000+08:00

Hey hey, how does my blog looks now???hee...i like it so much, it was much much better than wat it used to look like in the past.Haha...Thanks Shengwen!!!U R THE BEST!!!!

Okie, my frens keeps complaining abt me not updating my blog....k lor, sorry guys!!!pretty busy lately, have lots of projects n assignments, next tue got ICM test...hai....looking forward to the one week break which is a week fr now..

Oh n i got my 2nd Teacher's Day present today!!!haha...although a bit late lor i know, but still it's better late than never rite?hehe...

Tml still have to go back to sch for project gp meeting...got to stay really focus n do some serious studying fr now on...nothin should ever lure me away from my books again!!!!(I hope so..)

Teacher's Day Present!!!

2004-08-29T22:58:00.000+08:00

I was so surprise when my student gave me a Teacher's Day present!!!!So happy...it is a small teddy bear which is sooo super cute, and also a 'fake' purple flower...hehe....Too bad i'm not teaching that class anymore, actually the class is generally ok, except for juz 1 student whom i can't stand....
Went for a run a few days ago n my legs still ache!!!can't believe it!!!think i really need to excercise more often, i'm so weak nowadays....
Sch days seems to get busier each day, lots of projects have already started...I need to exert more discipline on myself, I had initially set out to read a few readings during the weekend, but now is already sun night n nothin was done...arhhh....just feel so drained and tired that i don't want to do anything else..I better get myself back on track coz if i don't do well for this sem, there goes my merit degree!!!!

Ezlink Card!!!

2004-08-20T20:10:00.000+08:00

Today is so so so not my day. First i went into the lecture hall late n everyone was staring at me, then I realized when i'm on my way home that i lost my ezlink card!!! Now I have to go down to Bouna Vista to get a replacement, n it is ALWAYS very crowded. As if I have nothin better to do than to queue all day n to pay 20++ bucks juz to get my card replaced..And this is already the 2nd time i'm losing it....Juz now when i called in to cancel my card that lady was so sacastic..."How many times do you wan to lose ur card?" she asked...Ok ok i know i'm always a bit blur...but...hai....juz my luck!!!
Tutorials r starting next week n a lot of project gps are already formed. Very soon i'll find myself being buried with lots of assignments n projects...urgh...i hate this part of sch term...And i have an assignment due FOR THE FIRST TUTORIAL next week!!!! Wat's the matter with lecturers nowadays???can't they stop being so hardworking n give us a break???sch juz started man!!!! ok i better stop here, i'm so grumpy today!!!

Busy Day

2004-08-14T01:25:00.000+08:00

Today was busy but gd....got to talk to a lot of friends....n juz now on my way home, i bum into this pri sch friend whom i kinda lost contact with...We talked a bit n catch up with stuff...turns out that she's involve with a lot of "stuff" now, which can get quite hmmm...messy....
She has always been the wild one among our gang of 3 back in pri sch, n sometimes i love listening to her coz she never failed to tell all the juicy stories....N she's actually someone who really makes me feel gd abt not getting attached...becoz i sort of relieved to know how much sufferings i've missed by staying single...haha...
anyway sch had started for a few days now n i think this sem it's goin to be a busy one too....lots of projects n assignments comin up, juz hope that i can cope well....love the management lecturer, he is so humorous...looking forward to his next lec...

I robot

2004-08-10T00:56:00.000+08:00

Unexpectedly 'I Robot' turns out to be a nice movie....At 1st i wasn't keen on that, but since there's not much option i chose this over 'The Village'. Glad i made this choice...it is not just an action movie where u sees nothin but brutal violence...rather it has a nice plot that flows smoothly n manage to capture ur attention throughout....it was DEFINATELY better than Spiderman 2 or Matrix!!!

Tml is 1st day of sch..am looking forward to it coz i feel that i have been lazing ard for far tooooo long!!!Last sat went to sch for the rag day, n i muz say it's really impressive!!!i can't imagine i have missed it for the last 2 yrs...

Luckily tml's lec is at 4...if not i think i'll be walking zombie in lec..

Shopping spree!!!!

2004-08-05T22:48:00.000+08:00

Can't believe how much i've spent within just 2 days...really should refrain myself from goin shopping from now on...
Anyway sch is starting soon, so maybe it's gd coz i won't have so much time for shopping??? this time round the bidding for mod is quite successful...manage to get all my mod except IF2207..a bit worried abt the JS mod though, scared they'll close the class down since there's so far only 2 bidders including me!!!!
will be goin with mingli for the Rag day this sat, maybe will get to c how cm dances...hehe

future

2004-07-30T13:59:00.000+08:00

Yest while talking, kelvin asked me what i wan to do after grad. I thought i always knew what i wan to be, i wan to work in HR field. But do i have wat it takes? n is it really wat i wan....working as a PR might be fun and exciting for a while, but as a life long career???? To ppl like kelvin, he always seems to know what he wants and what he's doin...everything seems to have a purpose. But for me...very often i do things juz becoz i need to, n not wat i wan...Well for one thing i'm sure though, i'll never choose teaching as a career unlike many of my frens fr my course.

Lately keep having the same nightmare, i was always running away fr someone...haha...maybe this is a form of stress...but always the same screnerio n the same location....that's a bit scary...

Anger management

2004-07-25T19:11:00.000+08:00

I was so closed to losing my temper today at one of my P4 student. He is really getting from bad to worse these days. I know as a teacher i shouldn't be biased, but seriously i juz can't stand him. I was so relieved when the lesson was over. Luckily i managed to keep my anger at bay, if not i think i would be screaming at him like hell.
I don't mind spending extra time with those students who wants to learn, even though they may be slow. But to spend an extra sec with those notorious ones is really torturing.
Hai...did ever thought of quitting, i'm not gd at kids anyway. But for the $$$'s sake, juz can't bear to give this job up. I wonder y there're ppl who actually teach for interest (or so they say). Maybe it's juz me..

That Henry, ask me to find a replacement urgently, now that i've found he dosen't even return my calls...if i've known it wasn't really that "urgent", i wouldn't be so troubled over it.

Replacement

2004-07-22T20:48:00.000+08:00

I'm so stressed up...i juz realize i can't participate in the research project anymore, the timing clashes with my timetable...I called Henry this morning, he asked me to find a replacement by tml...n till now still can't find anyone suitable...i'll feel so bad if i screw up his research...he's such a nice guy....really wanted to help him...but...hai....
Anyone fr NUS?????plz helpppppp!!!!

leftover

2004-07-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

i juz spent this whole morning packing my room...n guess wat i found?i found something that my this super old expired crush had left behind....i was surprise that it's still ard....but maybe i still couldn't bear to throw it away all these yrs...so there it was, lying in a pile of old stuff....waiting to be discovered yet again next time i do spring cleaning...Lately it seems like he had pop into my life again...maybe i really shouldn't be so busybody n try to find out how he's doin...now i can't get him out of my mind again...
Hopefully it will pass in a few days n i can move on...anyway tonight goin out to celebrate sw's bd...looking forward to it n hope i can have a great time!!!!!

NUS research project

2004-07-20T00:04:00.000+08:00

Today is the first official starting day of this project...it went well until they need saliva samples to test our stress level...
we're suppose to spit our saliva into a funnel connected to the test tube that's assigned to us...this disgusting guy who sat next to me spat sooooo loudly, making all that disgusting sound...almost sounded like vomiting....seriously at that moment i almost had the urge to vomit also...n he actually did that a couple of times...arghhhhh.....no wonder my appetite for dinner juz now wasn't that gd...yurk...
finally the module list is out...time to rack my brain again choosing modules...esp chi ones...they have only 2 3000-level mod this sem...how am i suppose to choose????n their mod offered can't get any more boring...rheotic or something...can't even understand the mod title...hai...don't they have any sense of creativity????

blogskin

2004-07-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

Spent almost an hr trying to figure out how these things work...try to put in a blogskin but failed...arghhhh...hate computer!!!!!haa...
anyway today's tuition was ok..luckily half the class went for the NDP preview, so i only need to teach 3 kids...1st time in ages the class can actually end on time..Hopefully tml's classes will be as gd too...esp that sec 1 class...hai...just thinking of them gives me headache...
If there's really such a thing as retribution...then my students should be quite obedient ...since i'm such a gdddddd student last time....haha..

Old crush..

2004-07-16T22:30:00.000+08:00

Juz came across some news on the guy whom i used to have a huge crush on a couple of yrs back...it's funny how memory can hide deep into your mind, n came all rushing back with juz a snap....i guess i do miss him somehow...but that's all in the past...juz glad to know that he's doin fine now...

HK or Sg?

2004-07-15T18:47:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking abt whether to stay in Sg or go back to HK after i grad next yr...i couldn't decide. I know my parents would wan to go back to HK after they retire, but i'm not very sure if I really wan to go back n settle down there. Of coz i love HK, afterall it's the place where i'm born. Even though i've already came to Sg for almost 12 yrs, i still find myself having some difficulties in adjusting to the life here;there're several things here that i've to compromise...n i don't think these things can change no matter how much longer i'm prepared to stay here...
But then on the other hand, I spent almost my entire teenage years here in Sg; this is the place i grow up in...studying, making friends...I'm not sure if i'm ready to give up all that..I do have friends in HK, but onli a few...N if i go back next yr, my family most prob won't be with me...my parents still have some buz here, and my bro is still studying...Which means i'm going back alone...i'm not sure if i can manage...
Juz hope that by the time i grad i'll come out with a decision...

A new beginning...

2004-07-14T18:33:00.000+08:00

I'm soooooooo excited abt getting my 1st online journal!!!!but dun think it look very nice though, coz when it comes to com, i'm a complete idiot...this is already the best i can do...hee...